A little over six years ago, my husband and I sat and listened as the neurologist uttered those fateful three letters – A.L.S. and our…
4 CommentsLearning to live after loss...
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After we lost Charlie to ALS and after going through everything that entailed, my ideas about life – what it means, what I want… – all that changed. I didn’t want to feel like life was this never-ending struggle of futility – striving to attain some manufactured sense of achievement.
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has faded and before the ground has shrugged into the thickness of a white winter coat. Everything seems so bare, more plain somehow. How stark and empty it looks by comparison. You can see things you couldn’t see before…maybe because they were hidden behind a growth of flashy abundance or camouflaged by the distraction of the beauty that suffocated it. This is the in between, the barren period of one season giving way to another, and there really isn’t a name for what it is. It isn’t known for its beauty, its growth. It’s neither a beginning nor an end…it’s simply an in between, a period of almost imperceptible transition.
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Our emotions mimic a roller coaster; there are hills and valleys, excitement and fear. No aspect of life has the ability to maintain a constant state of perfection – not relationships, not the weather, not our health. I wonder sometimes if we’ve become such a hedonistic culture that we are incapable of allowing ourselves to sit for any amount of time in our negative feelings? Whatever those may be – fear, loss, anger, guilt, envy, rejection, or…loneliness. Sometimes, the only way to successfully work through those negative emotions is to acknowledge them, feel them, and in some cases, honor them. Sometimes the main reason you can spot the good is because you remember, so acutely, what it felt like to live the bad.
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It’s funny how an echo can feel like a shadow. The intangible proof of a tangible thing’s existence. Something that’s there, but not there.
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“When this request showed up in my See Katie Run 2 End ALS T-shirt fundraiser, I knew it was going to be a special one. I was aware that my friend’s mom had recently passed and the message in quotes immediately grabbed my attention. “
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“there are those of us who go into beast mode with the sole purpose to burn ALS to the ground. We welcome the challenges, the events, the walks, the rides, because it’s our way of shaking our metaphorical fist at ALS and saying, “You don’t get to win!” We emerge from our first battle bent, but not broken. Our hearts are bruised, but still beating. Our hurt scars us deeply, but our healing…it is transcendent.”
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if you can read between the lines of the meme that just pissed you off, you will probably see that he was actually making a good point…and then you would see what David is really trying to do, ultimately, is make the world a better place…for everyone.
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After Charlie died, and I was working on Finding My Reflection, I realized that, amongst the deep well of grief at his loss, was the…
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I woke up on May 26th to the news that a black man, named George Floyd, died in police custody while being held down by…
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This weekend marked a Race for Research event for ALS TDI. Had COVID-19 not derailed all social functions, this would have been a 5K run…
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